The Cynical Mother – You Can’t Always Get What You Want

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     My oldest son could barely hold a crayon when he started pre-school.

He was my first child. I thought that was normal for a thee-year-old. When the pre-school teacher suggested I have him evaluated by a specialist I blew a gasket. (“There is nothing wrong with my son!”).

     I soon realized he wasn’t at the same level as the other children in the class. After a few appointments it was determined that he would benefit from both occupational and physical therapy. I was embarrassed. I shouldn’t have been, but I was young and, quite frankly, ignorant.

     I didn’t want the other mothers to judge us. I just wanted him to be “normal.”

     Normal is easy. We are taught to be normal. Normal isn’t ostracized.

     As he grew older I encouraged him to play sports. I wanted him to be an athlete. I did. Athletes don’t struggle to make friends. They were always the popular kids. A quarterback is treated like a god in high school, even if he looks like a “before picture.”

     In fact, we live in a society where a man is admired as long as he can catch a ball.

     My son wasn’t very coordinated. He gets his athletic ability, or lack thereof, from me.

     He tried, but he couldn’t get the hang of baseball. He played a little basketball but settled on soccer. I registered him for a summer league year after year.

     I wanted him to experience the camaraderie that comes with playing on a team. It was good for him to socialize. Plus, they can’t keep you on the bench if mom pays for you to play. Trust me, his last coach learned that lesson the hard way.

     I think he scored twice in seven years. It wasn’t his thing.

     He joined drama club — and shined. That is not his only talent. He has received awards for his artwork. Featured with this column is just one of his pieces. One half is a photograph. He drew the other side.

     I get emotional every time I look at this picture.

Cynical Mother – Benedict Cumberbatch

     It’s not because of Benedict Cumberbatch’s charming smile. It reminds me of how far my son has come. The little boy who could barely hold a crayon is an incredible artist.

     He is also a kind, thoughtful, and funny teenager, when he isn’t talking back.

     He has a great group of friends and is flourishing in college.

     I am sorry I ever wanted him to be something he is not. He is better than normal, and always has been.