It’s often lamented that being a parent is one of the most challenging jobs that doesn’t come with a manual. There’s no training required to become a parent but much needed to be a parent.
Especially with your first child, the questions can seem overwhelming. Perhaps the most common heard by medical professionals: “Is this normal (behavior, thought, cough, rash, pain)?” Keeping us sane through the roller-coaster ride of parenting are the professionals who help us take care of our kids. Like us, they have funny stories to share, coupled with wisdom and reassurance that it all really will be OK.
As a mom of three young boys, Dr. Amy Jerum is no stranger to the physical, mental, and emotional curve-balls of raising a family. Jerum, a DNP (Doctor of Nursing Practice), will be a regularly featured columnist in this publication. She’s found that within the traditional medical office setting at Panorama Pediatric Group she can help provide early intervention in areas that often carry a stigma like anxiety, depression, and other behavioral and mental health concerns.
Her philosophy is to help teach children coping skills, help them add tools to their toolboxes, and prevent problems from deteriorating. Here is Jerum’s take on a variety of topics she encounters daily with her patients and families:
COUNSELING: Therapy is normal for kids ages 12 to 20. The children are usually OK with it, but often parents need to wrap their heads around the idea. Part of being a great parent is knowing your child could benefit from someone else’s counsel. Not because you’ve failed your child as a parent. But because you do care. They have trainers and coaches for sports, tutors for homework. I hope to normalize therapy to be comfortable for all parties.
IT STARTS WITH LISTENING: I try to help my patients talk about issues in a basic way and give light feedback so they can be thoughtful in their own feelings. Sometimes it’s easier to start the process in a typical doctor’s office setting, but then I can also open the door to the idea there are others out there who can help.
TRANSITIONING HEALTH CARE: As my patients hit their mid-teens, I often ask parents to step out of the room. I’m helping the kids prepare to be their own health care advocates. In college they will need to call health services when they have a sore throat, explain their symptoms, and get a prescription filled.
FRUSTRATING CLOTHING CHOICES: (Specifically, children who insist on wearing shorts/miniskirts in the winter, or heavy sweaters in the middle of summer.) You don’t really get a cold when you’re cold. You get uncomfortable. Discomfort can be a powerful learning experience. As they get older you’re faced with “I don’t want to say I told you so, but. …” Experience is the best teacher. On the other hand, our job is to keep our kids safe and sometimes we overdo it. Many times the clothing issue is more about who is going to win — especially after we’ve already said “no” to something. Instead, try asking yourself why you are saying “no.”
KIDS BEING ADORABLE: I once got a marriage proposal from one of my young patients.
FAVORITE MEMORY: A mom who was concerned about her son storing his peanut butter and jelly sandwich in the waistband of his pants each day. It was wrapped in foil so I wasn’t worried about germs. But mom thought it was totally odd. I asked the little boy why he did it. He replied, deadpan, “I like my sandwich warm.” I couldn’t argue with that logic. Choose your battles.
“Part of being a great parent is knowing your child could benefit from someone else’s counsel. Not because you’ve failed your child as a parent. But because you do care.”
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